Here's to Summer

It's been awhile since I've blogged my thoughts down. There's been a lot going on in the last month or so that I've been home. Nothing about coming home was easy. I've had relationships change, I'm now single, and it's been a hard adjustment to come back home being single when I left in a relationship that I thought would never end. This has been my biggest adjustment. For awhile all I could do was pray and cry. Now, with the struggle of being alone I can find some comfort in talking with God. But there are still days where I feel as though I'm drowning in all the emotions I feel. Emotions of regret, sadness, and hurt. Regret, because if I would have know the true reason behind my relationship and why it ended the way it did-then I wouldn't have went through with it all. It was basically set up to fail eventually. And sadness because I know I will never have those feelings ever again with that person. Then, there's the hurt. It all hurts now to think about it. I know that a time will come when it wont hurt.

I have to look forward at the good that's to come. I have to make every moment positive for myself so I don't dwell on the hurt I feel. Even though that is hard for me. I just have to surround myself with those people who love me and know how to make me feel better, and that should be easy but it's not. I'd rather sit in my room by myself and think about things. But thinking is what makes me sad. I need to stop thinking and just live. This could potentially be a great summer, I just can't compare it to last summer. Because it's thinking like that that will ruin this summer.

So, here's to a potentially great summer.